I do live in the monastery without walls. I am as committed to/with and occupied by God as every monk or nun. I am God’s willing child and sometimes an inconvenient truth to those who would prefer I was not. My cathedral is the landscape, nature is my choir, humanity is my brother, my sister and my unconscious prayer is constant, my conscious prayer has reached levels where it is pretty much constant in tandem with the unconscious and blogging is a way in which my extension, my service to others and my own on-going development [I prefer to call it glorious exciting toe-tingling discovery] is achieved. I write for about 5-6 hours everyday, you only see a minuscule fraction of that!
As with most of you, we all know that in order to achieve a post we are content to share, there is a lot of thinking, soul-searching, prayer, research, drinking coffee, and re-writes that goes on before we timidly press that Publish button. The Catholics have a saying that each breath in and each breath out, becomes a conscious living prayer. Yep. It does get like that with discipline [excuse: I’ll do it later], determination [excuse: I don’t really feel like it right now], surrender [Fear: what ALL of me-surely not Lord??!!] service, [Fear…Who me??] doubt, [Fear: people will think I am crazy, I must be deluded…]and stretching towards that point, when God steps in and adds the missing ingredient…Grace. For it is when the two come together that bliss occurs and it gets easier! But..we are human…and easily err into habits we thought we had long left behind, when we don’t keep a grip on ourselves and our eyes firmly fixed on Christ. It’s that Simpson moment-“doh!” Perhaps that is why we love him so much! He is just so…Us.
I think our Homer moments are lovely. I love laughing at myself, my absurdities, my inconsistencies, my sheer uselessness at some things, I find myself very funny when I metaphorically trip up on banana skins, fall over and hit my nose in the dirt. Just shows me not to get to serious about myself! I guess it’s because all in all, after all this time, I am now pretty comfortable with myself. Sure there are things I would like to change, but probably never will get around to it…and I have to say something that some may find a bit heretical here…I have caught my Lord in fits of laughter at my antics and Homer moments more than a few times. Much more than a few times. Actually, on many occasions. Sometimes I do catch the feeling that there is a bemused compassionate gaze that sort of someone watching the hamster on the wheel. But you see…I know THIS>>>
And I KNOW this>>>
So as with all of us…I am on the journey and enjoying each glorious moment of it!