Now seems like a very appropriate time to say thankyou to you all. Those who follow, those who dip in and out, and those who recommend this blog to others they know it may resonate with. Thankyou for all your comments; it always helps to know that I am not just clapping away with one hand to myself! Or as I am famously known for; humming away like Winnie the Pooh at thresholds, whilst waiting around for others to join me. Thankyou all for your own posts too-a rich fountain at which to drink, so much variety, so many expressions of Divine inspiration and being. Such joyous sharing. Today I went through some of the comments that I have received and am heartened and humbled.
The path for me has been both/and. Very lonely in human terms, with great ‘prices’ to pay. Isolated in human terms too, often searching for and not finding others who were ‘like me’, certainly when I was younger. Longing to join in and share; always slightly on the outside looking in. But always just carrying along, trotting down the path, falling down, picking myself up, humming when uncertain, laughing with God, crying with God, howling my eyes out with God; listening and extending to everyone and everything, regardless of the rejection, regardless of the pain, the horrors, and the loneliness. Every now and again, when others had really ‘got to me’, I would be found wandering down a side path looking at the daisies, and it would be a while before they realised that I had even gone. So, no, this path of mine has not been easy. It has been full of the most painful and breathtaking challenges, those that pierce the heart in the same way the spear pierced the side of Jesus. Those which demand the complete cruxification of self and all that one has held to be true about oneself and ones identity. Those which make forty days of temptation in the desert look like a mere breeze that I would have willingly traded my lot with.
So all of the above in human terms, but rich in spiritual rewards. There was always one who sat with me in my agonies. One who gently wiped my brow of its sweat, and my burning tears of hurt and pain. One who hugged me tight and would not let me go until the shaking of my inner pain had ceased. One who never offered anything but Love, and whose Love was enough to encourage me, pick me up, dust me down and make me want to start walking again. One whose Love made me lift my eyes up and gaze at others with it, to share it with them too. Especially to those who suffered, who hurt, who were abandoned and lonely, who were homeless and hungry, those whom society or normal societal shelters of home, church or employment rejected, for although their paths were different to mine, they too shared its hurts and anguish, common to humanity, and if I could not be with those of my blood whom I loved, then the Lord found me ones to love all around me at any given time. And there were many of them; endless faces of brothers, sisters, mothers and fathers out there in pain just like me, reflecting mine back at me. And so; through the transformative Love of the Cosmic Christ; all pain is ultimately transformed into service, all anguish is transformed into Love and all people become one with those you more naturally find yourself able to love, such as kith and kin. “But he answered and said unto him that told him, Who is my mother? and who are my brothers”? Mathew 12:48.
Over the years the load became lighter, inner rubbish weighs heavy! Resolutions and reconciliations merged with issues and standoffs and a kind of finely balanced peace was achieved. But great wisdom in those wilderness years had been forged in fire; and pain and suffering had matured a secret harvest of compassion and Love. And finally when silence in the Lord became my most delicious desire, and harmonious music, the ultimate my ears could hear; Love asked me to speak: to share of my words. As tears dried, the crumpled creases offered laughter in their place. As pain ceased I could offer empathy. As anger ceased I could offer peace. And as small seeing faded I could offer compassion. In being refined through fire I could offer Love. Was it easy? No. Was it worth it? Yes every single minute. Would I change anything? No. But here’s how to make God laugh…tell him your plans. I said no blogs today and here are two, plus a reblog. Oh well…sigh…I really should know better!
And so I offer a Blessing To Us All in the Celtic Spirit of Embrace.
May we all be embraced within the circle of Belonging
The Belonging of Love
That is our Divine Birthright.
May we share the Light of our Cosmic Love with all who ask it of us
Holding none back,
But spilling it over in endless invitations to
recipients we know not and may never meet.
May our harmonies resonate throughout the Earth
Joining us all as One
May we offer all shelter, within this Love we have found
That ourselves, our communities,
our Peoples and nations be healed
Of differences and disharmonies
and things that serve to distance us and refuse us.
May we dance and sing and laugh
and be Love’s extending,
As we were created to do.
May we each be allowed and enabled to be
the exquisite dreaming of us
That we were created to be.
Blessings. Stephanie. xx
The image below is entitled “Is This Normal”? and is graciously permitted to be shared by “Sit Illustrated: So, What’s Funny About Meditation?” , compiled from the illustrated journals of a small group of aspirants, is (possibly) the world’s first and only cartoon book about the universal challenges, humiliations, or special moments inherent in meditating. If you would like to peek at some of the cartoons or order a book, please visit http://www.sitillustrated.com/
Is This Normal?